Bonjour, j'ai un rapport en anglais, pouvez vous me corriger mes eventuels fautes? merci (BTS , ANGLAIS) -As part of my studies, i did an internship. I started
Anglais
Marine345
Question
Bonjour, j'ai un rapport en anglais, pouvez vous me corriger mes eventuels fautes? merci (BTS , ANGLAIS)
-As part of my studies, i did an internship. I started applying for this position in many firms. Axa was interested in my CV because I already had a work experience in insurance last year.
The company is located in Montpellier and I was a trainee for 4 weeks.
-Axa is a french international group who is specialized in banking and insurance. The form offers insurance products for property and people, banking products and bank loan.
The opening of the agency took place in 2008 but the creation of the groupe was in 1985.
It's the leader in the global market and AXA is operates in 56 countries.
It's main competitors are alliand and generali.
The number of employees is 7 , 2 general agents, 3 customers advisors and I was with an oder girl in internship.
The main targets are individual & corporate customers.
When i was in internship, i worked 4 weeks, from monday to saturday at the sales department.
In the beginning, I was working with my tutor and an oder customer advisor. And then , i worked alone.
-My job consisted in calling previous customers to persuading them to get back to us.
I also taken initiatives like answering the phone , hosting and greeting customers.
I had a computer made available to work with a software.
-The employees were very kind with me and they often offered me their help. The atmosphere was cool , but frequently strict, because the employees were nervous when they had objectives to hit.
- Furthermore, there was a company's privacy policy to follow.
The customers I got in touch with ended up interested in our products, because they are looking for the cheapest price.
They compare the price of competitors and our prices.
I had to face some problems to memories a few notions, because the banking sector is very difficult.
-This internship was a positiv experience.
It enabled me to take reponsabilites and discovered an oder work atmosphere.
But it's not the area of activity where i will to continue.
I want to keep studying on international trade.
MERCI BEAUCOUP :)
-As part of my studies, i did an internship. I started applying for this position in many firms. Axa was interested in my CV because I already had a work experience in insurance last year.
The company is located in Montpellier and I was a trainee for 4 weeks.
-Axa is a french international group who is specialized in banking and insurance. The form offers insurance products for property and people, banking products and bank loan.
The opening of the agency took place in 2008 but the creation of the groupe was in 1985.
It's the leader in the global market and AXA is operates in 56 countries.
It's main competitors are alliand and generali.
The number of employees is 7 , 2 general agents, 3 customers advisors and I was with an oder girl in internship.
The main targets are individual & corporate customers.
When i was in internship, i worked 4 weeks, from monday to saturday at the sales department.
In the beginning, I was working with my tutor and an oder customer advisor. And then , i worked alone.
-My job consisted in calling previous customers to persuading them to get back to us.
I also taken initiatives like answering the phone , hosting and greeting customers.
I had a computer made available to work with a software.
-The employees were very kind with me and they often offered me their help. The atmosphere was cool , but frequently strict, because the employees were nervous when they had objectives to hit.
- Furthermore, there was a company's privacy policy to follow.
The customers I got in touch with ended up interested in our products, because they are looking for the cheapest price.
They compare the price of competitors and our prices.
I had to face some problems to memories a few notions, because the banking sector is very difficult.
-This internship was a positiv experience.
It enabled me to take reponsabilites and discovered an oder work atmosphere.
But it's not the area of activity where i will to continue.
I want to keep studying on international trade.
MERCI BEAUCOUP :)
1 Réponse
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1. Réponse CrocodiIo
J'ai lu, vite fait. De ce que j'ai pu voir je te conseille de plus structuré le rapport ça part un peu dans tous les sens n'hésite pas à utiliser des liens...(first of all,
Secondly, In fact...)
*because I have already worked in insurance, a year ago
*I was a trainee during 4 weeks for Axa's company which was located in Montpellier (ton ancienne phrase avait un problème de syntaxe)
*The agency was created in 1985, and opened in 2008
* Axa is the market Leader and operates in 56 countries
*His main competitors are Allianz
(Allianz ou Alliand??)
Là tu parles de l'agence ou tu as travaillé mais juste avant tu parlais de l'histoire du groupe, il y a un problème de structure. Il faut que d'un côté tu parles de l'histoire de l'entreprise puis de ton expérience
*The agency was composed of 7 employees : 2 general agents, 3 customers advisors and me with an OTHER girl in internship.
On dit OTHER et non oder
*At the beginning au lieu de In the...[...] other customer avisor
*I took initiative [...] such as/like
*I had a computer in order to work
j'ai pas trop compris ce que tu as voulu dire
Pour conclure
Tu rajoutes: To conclude...
*Positive
*Other